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 TV John is Hamish MacBeth's right hand man and administrative assistant which is exceedingly strange as he never learned until recently how to read. |  |
| But then much about TV John is strange not least his powers of second sight and precognition and his firm belief that he is invunerable except if there is a smell of pomade in the air. He may be on firm grounds on this as most unfortunate things happen to those who wish him harm. |
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| His one fear in life is a visit from the Planning Department of his local council as the caravan where he lives definitely does not have planning permission. His other constant worry is the return of the dreaded Flying Toasters. |
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The past of TV John is not totally clear, much like him really, although he was on the "oil tankers" and learned many a strange and mystic secret on his travels. |
| Interestingly his nickname has nothing to do with his dressing habits or sexual predilections but a reference to the fact that he was the first person in Lochdubh to have a TV set which is most peculiar as he doesn't have any electricity to run it.
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| TV John drives a beaten up old Lada and is well known for the long queues he causes while driving on single track roads - if stuck behind him you would be better off getting out and walking as you will then be able to overtake him with ease. |
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| Been heard to say | ||
| I sensed something, some sort of kharmic surge | ||
| A thing doesn't actually have to happen for it to be real | ||
| You're half my age, you know that, and I clean your lavatory |  8K 15K |
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| I've been in the way all my life, you can wait! | 7K14K |
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| Unlikely to say | ||
| I must say I really enjoyed reading War and Peace for the tenth time | ||
| In the news | ||
| All the time | ||
| Crimes | ||
| Poaching, petty theft from Hamish's cash box. | ||
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